Funsturbation

1.  
Summer must be over. My neighbour just returned my lawn furniture Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday. An unmarried man has no buttons on his shirt. A married man has no shirt.

2.  
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

3.  
There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.

4.  
A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.

5.  
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.